From Addiction to Finding My Life’s Purpose - Step 11.1

Jeff Ramsey

Hello! My name is Jeff Ramsey (this time around!) and I’d like to share my story with you. It is a story about an unexpected detour in my life and what I learned along the way. This may be especially interesting for you if you suffer from any addictive disorder and happen to find yourself at this Inward Bound Network website.

It all started in the mid-1980’s and I was exploring a rare and unique opportunity to delve into some deep spiritual training. I was intrigued and felt fortunate to have this offered to me.

Not a bad place to be after college with a somewhat unknown and exciting future ahead of me. Suddenly, a major challenge arose for me and it grew into a battle. A battle for my life, my sanity and well-being. A struggle I never would have suspected would befall me. ME!

I found myself falling off the edge and into an addiction (and they are all rooted in the same place). I felt as if I was being dared, teased into an abyss; perhaps, even, there was something familiar calling. And fall, I did, and much further than I thought possible. Way past the many opportunities I had to stop!

As I sit here, now, feeling very glad for the many, many learnings and experiences I gained…I am equally glad they are behind me! The harrowing and psychotic details are for another venue, but it was this original foundation in The Ancient Wisdom Teachings that I had received at the almost ridiculous age of 11 which gave me a secure, top-rope with which to help pull me back.

I found myself falling off the edge and into an addiction.

Addiction is a very nasty substance when it does finally manifest, and it is truly Grace which keeps us all from having to experience it.

In retrospect, it was fairly quickly that I managed to pull my way out, hand-over-hand, and very reluctant at first to accept any true kindness. Perhaps I may not have hurt sufficiently in my life to be able to express any genuine kindness, much less love, to anyone or anything! The landscape before me was a war ruin, but beneath it, somewhere, lay a golden thread, ever-so-slightly showing through. That was about all I could identify with, at that point, and I pulled at it until it was radiantly clear. I had found my way back to the Wisdom Teachings but it wasn’t the same place.

I enrolled in a class known then as Practicing the Presence, which I incorrectly assumed would give me a discipline to remain more in the Present. My individual experience was literally falling through myself and into…myself! I will never forget being in class in meditation and I felt exactly like I was falling off a very high place and into my center. It was a very precious moment for me and one I am to this day grateful to the people who formed the group and held a place for me at that time.

Another subsequent class brought me to a clearer concept of Service than I had theretofore even considered. Service slowly changed from work and an obligation to an avocation and, then to a vocation. It was at this time a massive, magnetic shift happened within me and I had a very clear outline that life, as we daily walk through it, wasn’t even the real “game” going on. I felt the magnitude of what was needed in humanity and the completely divergent attitude we have had for eons: “I’ll believe it when I see it”.

We play with sticks and stones and make mud pies until we evolve enough to know there is a real kitchen, with real creative magic, and the mud pies and skyscrapers are really nothing more than dust. We spend our incarnation in a lovely classroom where we can learn without ever really being injured, and that classroom we call life.

The booklet Step 11.1 - the next progressive step beyond Alcoholics Anonymous’ 11th Step.

So, my personality thought, we need a “service activity,” so I invoked and prayed and asked and pleaded to know what this would be! And then the answer came with such veracity and strength that I almost had a nervous breakdown from the impact, and would have if it hadn’t been for some very compassionate teachers/facilitators I had in class.

I survived and learned to invoke, to ask, not demand, but I did receive my answer and was overjoyed because it was something I knew I could do! I was proficient in this area! I had been a damn good drunk! And so I came to write the booklet Step 11.1, meaning the next progressive step beyond Alcoholics Anonymous’ 11th Step, which is Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God.

In every class and study I attended on the Wisdom Teachings, we always entered into a meditative state before each class. I was doing, daily, within a few seconds’ preparation, what others in AA had no clue how to even begin. Prayer? Of course, we all know how to pray, but this meditation… that was something strange for a huge mass of people. So, I unveiled meditation in a simple, 4-step process for my fellow AA members.

This was Service? Couldn’t be, it was far too much fun and fulfilling to be service work. And through writing the booklet Step 11.1, I discovered that through serving, one finds that one is serving One’s Self. With that insight, suddenly, that inner center of mine lit up into a beautiful, radiating, golden sun. This brilliance had come from a flickering flame, not much more than a candle which I fanned until it silently exploded into a robust whole, and that light I recognized, was me. The light was entirely different from the flame; it was rich and strong, like seeing in 5 pixels and then suddenly in 1080i, and there was clarity and continuity, though I could not see too far ahead.

And through writing the booklet Step 11.1, I discovered that through serving, one finds that one is serving One’s Self.

I was now developing the necessary eyes to see and ears to hear and it felt as natural as walking under a shower. I use that image because I saw so many people meditate and receive an answer right then. I was jealous! It always seemed that my insights would come…a day, a week later and almost always when I was taking my morning shower! Strange, perhaps, but I guess that’s when my mind was least occupied. And so came associated concepts to that which I had meditated upon, a clarification, a directive, an addendum, if you will, one that I surely must have misunderstood: “MOVE”

I have spent almost my entire life moving forward with my heels and fists dug in hard! Here I was at sixty years old; “Why not try something audaciously new?” I threw caution aside and dove headfirst into what lay before me, trusting completely (for once!) in the Divine Life. It was not fearful either, but rather felt like the “right” way, whatever that meant.

My personality wanted to curl into a little ball and hide until it was over, because in eight, whirlwind months we had 1- made a decision to move, 2- designed and built a house, and 3- moved from a posh retirement city to a small town in Texas (population 538) about which I knew almost nothing.

At the time, I did not know there was a treatment center in this tiny town which would become home and where I eventually came to work. I began spreading the Teachings and Tools of the Ancient Wisdom, and all the while instructing others on the techniques in my meditation booklet. Most gratifying was serving the many, many brothers and sisters through their addictions and into a clearer light, a new way of life. Yes, it seemed to be chaos for a short time in my life and all during a global pandemic! Would I do it differently? No. The powers above me had to get a hold of my stubborn attention, and this spiritual shock treatment worked.

Most gratifying was serving the many, many brothers and sisters through their addictions and into a clearer light, a new way of life.

Now, I rely on, and live my life centered around this new service activity. Meditation afforded me a higher way of living. My fears have dissipated, I sleep at night, I smile and say hi to people for no reason other than to share a positive brotherhood with my fellow humanity.

I made it very hard on myself; the lessons I had in this lifetime could have been learned much more easily, but it “had” to be this way; I see that now. It took that whole tortuous journey for ME to become the beaten, battered, bruised, but radiant, joyful Conscious Soul Incarnate that I am. And for this, I know I am blessed.

Meditation afforded me a higher way of living.

Now, come join us and remember…you don’t have to do it the hard way I did!!!!! Really!!! The words, “Go with the flow” I learned means Peace.

Step 11.1 Booklet & Guided Meditation for Recovery

Click to download Step 11.1 Booklet

The booklet Step 11.1 was written as a beginning guide to a meditation process whose few simple steps will give the reader a strong base from which to explore the immense inner world, and a MUST for anyone wanting to explore the huge world of meditation through the Inward Bound Network classes and programs. This is only the beginning of the adventure! There is also available a Guided Beginners Meditation led by an experienced Teacher of The Wisdom from Australia.

Click to download the Step 11.1 Booklet

I sincerely hope you enjoy, use, and pass this along to those in need or those who assist in healing. And let me know what you think…or if you have questions! Namasté.

Suggested Addiction Recovery Meditations

Addiction Recovery Meditation - a beginners meditation that was developed for those recovering from addiction who are trying to reach their inner self and needs the tools to quiet the mind and the body so he can reach the spirit within.

Truth Meditation - a guided meditation to clear away the mental fog that addiction creates and see the unabridged truth behind the mask of our addictions.

Click to view all our Addiction Recovery Meditations.