Cultivate Self-Love with 7 Simple Practices

Cultivating Self-Love is not only about accepting yourself, but also developing unconditional love for the unique and beautiful being that you are, even with your imperfections. The path towards self-love might be winding and full of twists and turns, but every step is rewarding and worth the effort.

We all criticize ourselves from time to time, some of us do so more regularly than others. In many cases, we would not speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves! Being harsh and judgmental towards ourselves is very damaging emotionally, mentally and physically. Self-criticism helps to reinforce all of our negative beliefs about ourselves and keeps us on a downward spiral towards depression, loneliness and hopelessness. Basically, it keeps us upon the path of suffering. In this article we would like to offer 7-steps towards cultivating self-love as an antidote to self-judgment and criticism.

7 Practices to Cultivate Self-Love

Here are 7 practices that you may find helpful as a way to move along the pathway towards loving yourself no matter what. These practices incorporate the sounding of the Ho’oponopono mantra as a transformative tool. Learn more about Ho’oponopono.

1. Do mirror work to clean obscurations and create a pathway of self-love

Stand in front of the mirror, look into your eyes and say, the Ho’oponopono mantra:

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you”

You might feel a lot of resistance at first. It may feel very uncomfortable but keep doing it anyway. It will get easier and easier with time.

Start using your mirror to cultivate self love!

You can do it any time of the day. You can do it whenever you find yourself in front of the mirror. A great idea is to place a post-it note on the bathroom mirror, in the car, at the kitchen sink with the words, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you”. A gentle reminder to ourselves to practice kind and loving thoughts. We are re-programming our old automatic response mechanism from the critical, judgemental thoughts and self-talk to positive loving thoughts.

Place a note on the bathroom mirror, in the car, at the kitchen sink as a reminder.

The most important thing is implementing it into your daily routine. It will change how you feel about yourself in no time at all.

2. Learn to forgive yourself for any imperfections

Learn how to practise forgiveness. Nothing good comes from nourishing resentment, whether it’s resentment towards yourself or resentment towards others. You can’t fill your heart with self-love when you are poisoned by negativity.

There are different ways to practise forgiveness, and a very powerful technique is chanting the ancient Hawaiian mantra Ho’oponopono:

I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.

“Judge nothing, you will be happy.

Forgive everything, you will be happier.

Love everything, you will be happiest.”

~Sri Chinmoy

When you say these words, think of yourself in a situation you want to change. Maybe you have built a lot of resentment towards a family member or maybe you have really hurt someone and you can’t forgive yourself for that. Whatever the situation is, think of yourself as a creator of this issue. 

In Ho’oponopono, like in other spiritual practices, the belief is that we are the ones who create our experiences. There is no one else to blame for anything. Your inner reality creates your outer reality. It might be a scary thought to consider, but it is also a thought that can help you regain power over your life. 

When you do the Ho’oponopono practice you are essentially saying sorry to yourself for creating a particular experience in your life. Do it regularly until you feel that you have let go of the burden of resentments and there is a space in you to fill yourself up with self-love.

2. Cultivate gratitude to welcome more love and blessings into your life

Expressing gratitude, in general, is an amazing practice to incorporate into your daily life.

When you focus this practice on yourself it can help you develop more self-love in no time at all. You can do it while looking at yourself in the mirror. Say “thank you” to your body for all it does for you every single day. Look into your eyes and appreciate how much progress you have made through the years. 

Expressing gratitude, is an amazing practice to incorporate into your daily life and will help cultivate self love.

The whole self-appreciation practice can be really short, but it really helps you reconnect with positive feelings towards yourself.

You can also start a gratitude journal and write down all the things about yourself and your life that you are grateful for.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparisons steal the joy from you. They deprive you of the joy of being yourself. You are a unique, beautiful individual who has a lot to give to this world. No one has what you have, so no one can make your unique contribution to this world. 

Whenever I feel I’m starting to be tormented by jealousy I also remind myself that we never know what lessons we are supposed to learn on our journey, and we don’t know what other people go through behind the facade of their apparent success. Celebrate your individuality and your uniqueness – celebrate all that you are and all that you bring to this life.

Stop comparing yourself to others. It deprives you of the joy of being yourself

Everyone has their own struggles. Remembering this may help you stop comparing yourself to others. It will not only make you feel better about yourself, but you will also be more open to learning from people who have already achieved what you want to achieve.

4. Go on dates with yourself

Scheduling regular “me” time is really important when you embark on the journey towards more self-love. 

Perhaps going out to a cafe and just relax back and read a book or simply watch the world go by while sipping a cup of coffee. Or maybe going for a massage, or go for a walk, or a bike ride, to listen to music, and of course, to meditate. It is important to make sure you create ways of spending quality time with yourself. To become your own best friend.

Your mind will be focused, and you will feel regenerated and happy that you did something for yourself.

6. Cultivate self-compassion

It is much easier to be compassionate towards others than towards yourself. But as the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. You can’t really have compassion towards others when you don’t have it towards yourself.

You can’t really have compassion towards others when you don’t have it towards yourself. Practicing self compassion will help cultivate self love.

How can you develop self-compassion?

• Practice forgiveness regularly. Once you accept yourself as you truly are and allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them, it will lead you to more self-compassion. You can use the Ho’oponopono mantra, or you can do other forgiveness practices. Choose a tool that suits you best.

• Think of yourself as if you were a small child. You wouldn’t be upset with a child when they made a mistake, would you? You would probably have much more patience and compassion towards a little one because you will know that he or she is learning about life and how to navigate between life’s different challenges. 

  Imagine how it would feel if you remembered that your inner child is still alive inside you. It is still a part of you, and it needs your love, understanding and kindness. You are still learning about life and its nuances as it is truly a lifelong journey. 

• Monitor your self-talk. It does take some effort to be aware of how you talk to yourself, whether you are constantly criticising yourself or whether you treat yourself with kindness and understanding. 

• Whenever you notice you tend to criticise yourself too much, exhale these negative words and on the inhale fill yourself up with a more positive, compassionate thought about yourself.

7. Practise the Ho’oponopono Meditation

Ho’oponopono meditation is a beautiful practice that will help you boost love for yourself and all living beings.

Find a quiet place for yourself to sit down with your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Set the intention that with every breath in you are filling yourself up with love and with every breath out you are releasing all the negativity from your mind and body.

Use Ho’oponopono meditation to cultivate self love.

Now imagine seeing yourself just as you are right now. Connect to your heart and send yourself a stream of love. Sound the Ho’oponopono Mantra:

“I’m sorry,
Please forgive me,
I love you,
Thank you”

Ho’oponopono Meditations to Cultivate Self Love

Here are a few guided Ho’oponpono Meditations to help you cultivate self love. Be sure to check out both our Ho’oponopono meditations and Self Love Meditations.

Self Love with Ho’oponopono - This meditation focuses upon cleaning those negative beliefs that stand in the way of us experiencing spiritual love – that which we call “self love”.

Love is the Absence of Judgement Ho’oponopono Meditation - In this meditation we focus upon cleaning away the toxic energies of judgement and criticism that are borne out of painful memories of the past, to set ourselves free to live a life filled with an abundance of love and joy.

Gratitude for All That We Are with Ho’oponopono Meditation - There is such a power in appreciating the gifts that we bring into this life. For as we acknowledge these aspects of ourselves with love and with gratitude, we are able to utilise these gifts more fully to bring greater joy and happiness to our lives.

Loving Yourself Meditation - A guided Ho’oponpono meditation to cultivate a deeper sense of self-love and self-acceptance by transforming those beliefs about ourselves that are holding us separate from love.