Releasing Fear and Reducing the Stress of Our Emotional Reactivity

Releasing Fear – and reducing the stress of our emotional reactivity; this is possible for each of us. Here are some techniques for releasithat have worked for me.

Early Experiences Coping with Fear

In my teens I stumbled upon the realization that often a fleeting fear I experienced would actually happen. I decided to take more notice of each fleeting fear; stop to face it, feel it, notice my thoughts. Do I want this fear? So, what do I want instead? I relaxed, softened and focused within, holding this question. Then, when I had a sense of what I wanted, I would imagine it in detail and envision it coming into being.

I had stumbled upon a way of transforming a fear and was also starting to realize the impact of thoughts. I realized at times a fear was a warning to take care but more often than not fear was not associated with what was happening there and then. It arose with fleeting thoughts from my subconscious and my past.

Over time I realized the emptiness of many thoughts, that thoughts generated in the mind were usually conjectures, often at odds with one another and with no deep truth in them. They often fuelled my emotional reactions. Pointless. How to calm the waters of emotion?

Fear can Take Us Away from Our True-Self

Not long ago a friend and I were stopped at a traffic roundabout waiting for a clear way onto it. Suddenly we were jerked forward. A car had just run into the back of us. Aware of fear arising and that my thoughts could go into all sorts of scenarios about how bad this was, I stilled my thoughts and I consciously dropped deeper within and relaxed and asked myself, “What do I really want for myself and others in this immediate situation?” I added “if this be in the greater good,” wanting an outcome that was positive.

The other driver had by this time disappeared, so we pulled over and walked to the back of the car. There was no damage at all, no sign of collision. A feeling of relief and gratitude washed over me. Then I felt a sense of compassion for the driver who had driven off and was probably now coping with feelings about that.

A definition of fear that I have found really useful is that fear is “Entertaining a fantasy of a threat that has not happened.” Right now, the threat is not happening so my fear is an emotional reaction without basis. The threat may have been experienced in the past, but it is not a reaction to a threat happening now.

With the assistance of my meditation teacher and further studies I began to work to deepen my awareness of fear to gain a better understanding. What is the truth about our fear? We want control and to protect ourselves. Our ego wants control, to withdraw, separate ourselves from the situation or person threatening. We close down, preventing us from being open to new opportunities and from going deeper into the Light of Being. There, within the heart we can focus, contemplate and ask, “What is my Truth here?” “What do I truly want for myself and others in this situation?”

Letting Go – the Polarity of Hope and Fear

We are more than our reactions of hope and fear, reactions which unsettle us and can create turmoil. I now consider that my HOPES are my wants for the future, the experiences, and objects I am grasping for which are not inspired by a deeper inner reflective Wisdom of Presence. While my FEARS are arising from my subconscious, I see them as being related to an aversion I have to past painful experiences and my attempt to avoid such pain. As I settle into the still space in my heart, I remind myself to relax, to let go, let go. And let go.

Consider then, that our hopes and fears set us against – at odds with the experience of here and now, this moment which is our current experience. We are unhappy and see no purpose or value in these experiences. We want something different and believe we will only be happy if things are different.

I am finding much value in letting go of hope for the future and fear of the past and being more mindful of my inner experience NOW. By practicing letting go thoughts, dropping deeper into the spaciousness within, new dimensions of experience arise such as deeper knowing, love, joy, and happiness. So, when I began to compare my expectations of the future and fears about the past with what is available right now in this moment, I began to realize there was much to lose in doing this. As a result, I have a better sense of how expectations distract us from being fully present in the moment.

As I let go of expectations of what I might like in the future, of what might make me happier, I move back deeper within myself, deeper within consciousness, deeper within my heart. I relax and let go of thoughts and begin to feel still, peaceful. With regular practise (and meditation) this is a process of opening up to more Love and Light within. How much more fulfilling to be present within and transform our emotional reactions. It is a process of opening to more Love and Light.

Getting Past Fear with Mindfulness

The practice of Mindfulness can help us move deeper within to let go, relax and fully experience this moment, finding its deeper beauty or peace, the essence within. We can utilize the experience of all our senses or focus on the breath to practice stilling the mind and being open, present, receptive to new realizations from deep within.

Through such practices, little by little the Presence of the Inner Self arises. It has been a process of letting go “I think things should be like this, not that.” Instead, “How is this moment, this experience serving for the better?” “What is being revealed of truth, of beauty?” “Does it reveal a bigger picture?”

Emotional Reactivity Does Not Help

An early example of a step in realizing that emotional reactions do not help, was when I had organised an appointment or meeting and it was cancelled or fell through. I could react with frustration and annoyance. With more insight I began accepting the changes in my schedule and became interested in what was being revealed. Gradually, I came to trust that what took place instead served me better in the scheme of things. Another benefit of letting go of attempting to control.

My experience has led me to develop more trust in that which is unfolding in the moment and holding a desire to understand it’s Purpose.

There have been books written about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. It is not necessarily easy. I was staying with a friend in another country. I had just moved there and not had a chance to meet people. I was away from family and friends and my usual supports. I do not see very well, and I do not drive. My friend developed an illness, and it was likely he would be hospitalised. How would I manage? The situation put me in touch with my vulnerability, aloneness and my fear. So I began to apply what I knew about managing fear. I also reviewed my coping skills. And most importantly I trusted. I have had so many experiences of help being available when I needed it (and when I do not also) due to the kindness of people. I let the worrying thoughts go and focused deep within and trusted. All was well.

Final Thoughts on Releasing Fear

I have had some experiences which have inspired me – which I could never have imagined or expected. So why would we, you and I, not trust the unfolding and look for a deeper Purpose in our experiences? A pathway towards Releasing Fear – and reducing the stress of our emotional reactivity.

Suggested Meditation Class

Introduction to Mindfulness with Gay Vickers - Mindfulness and meditation practice is a step-by-step means of letting drop stressful and distracting thoughts and emotions, listening increasingly deeply within and being open and receptive to discovery.

Recommended Meditations for Releasing Fear

Mindfulness Meditation for Inner Stillness - this mindfulness meditation practice invites you, via attention to your breath and sound, to bring your focus to NOW, this moment.

Meditation on Transforming Fear - this meditation explores what fear is all about and how to transform it into its opposite, love.

Commitment to Change, To Become New Meditation - let go of those aspects of the past that no longer serve, in order to experience a new birth within.

Anxiety Relief Meditation - Relieve anxiety with this gentle, guided meditation. Enjoy soothing music and a loving, compassionate voice guiding you through deep relaxation and transformation.